Can I Do It?

I hear this question all the time, and if I am on top of things I say yes. If I am feeling rushed and not living in the moment I say no and something along the lines of "Please leave the kitchen (or where ever) so Mommy can get this done." And that is a lost teaching moment!

Annelise was cracking eggs into bowl, scrambling them in the frying pan by 18 months. She watered the yard with Daddy and helped with yard work...like really. She did.

Unfortunately, Olivia did not have the same experience. With the addition of another child I lived less in the moment and more in the future. By that I mean I was thinking of all the things that NEED to be done, of all the things I HADN'T done, instead of being there in that spot when she wanted to crack an egg, or wanted a hug, or needed a prayer said, or wanted to see if she could do it...

***Oh Lord, how much have we lost in all areas when we wast mind space thinking of what is to be done or hasn't been done...

Martha welcomed Him into her home.
She had a sister called Mary, who was seated at the Lord's feet, listening to His word.
But Martha was distracted with all her preparations; and she came up to Him and said, "Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to do all the serving alone? Then tell her to help me."
But the Lord answered and said to her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things;
but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10: 38-42***

Although I have tried to foster independence in most areas of their lives: they dressed themselves and put their own shoes on by the time they were 2, they usually help in some way with all the cooking...so YAY I have done somethings right!!! There are many things I had intended to do as a young mother with just one, that have slipped to the wayside as 2 more came along...


But I have been re-inspired!


As many of you know, we plan to home school and I have been rereading about Maria Montessori and her education philosophy. One of her famous quotes is that a child says "Help me to do it myself".


I love it!

One of the first activities she advocates for young children are called practical life activities. What does that mean? Real life activities you would do in ... real life!


So as a mom who feels always behind, why do I not offer more "practical life" !?


Folding, washing tables, dusting, washing dishes, setting the table. These activities are introduced to toddlers in a Montessori environment.


Having work to do makes children feel like they are contributing to the family, and an important member because of it. These activities are often repeated over and over by the child because they have a need to master it, and the repetition helps build concentration in the meantime.


So the other day I set up a dish washing station right next to the kitchen. I have a dishpan full of warm soapy water, a smaller bowl of cold water to rinse and a towel to dry. They LOVE it! And I don't have to clean up their breakfast dishes!!

***Lord help me to sit at your feet, the only thing that is necessary, and not be distracted and worried about so many things. And when my children sit at my feet, help me to see that they are needing to be taught...and I can't teach them well unless I am at your feet!***

Encouragement From A Stranger

Well I foolishly decided to go shopping today. I HAD to go to the grocery store for some forgotten items and sinse I had to venture out with all three girls, I thought I might as well make it a morning. SO we went to Ross. I have over $30 in gift card credit there, and both girls need shoes. Well they didn't have what we needed so I browsed the baby clothes. No luck there either, so then I went to look at the big girls shirts, sinse I am a very big girl right now and nothing fits...well I had a little luck. But the baby was in the sling and the girls were bored and acting up, so after 2 separate potty trips... to the line we went. By then it was full blown screaming from Julia, and the girls were playing tag at the check out! Not good. My voice was getting tighter each time I had to call the girls to "STAND BY THE CART!" I was on the course heading straight for blow up. Gone was my excitement in having found a shirt and a birthday gift for #1. The woman in front of me could obviously see the countdown in my brain, because she told me I could go ahead of her and then went on to tell me she had little ones and knows how hard it is to get out and about. I asked her how she managed to be out alone and she said well now I have older ones to help with the younger ones. I knew then she was probably 'mom to lots'. She went on to engage the girls in conversation while I checked out and I thanked her as I walked out the door. As I was sitting in the front seat nursing my baby feeling much calmer than I had been I saw her walk to one of those big vans that holds lots...she was a 'mom of lots'! And I thought, someday I will be the one to encourage a young mother with three children 4 and under. I will be the one to speak peace into an escalating situation. Hopefully, next time it will be me...And I said a little prayer that she would be refreshed this day. "... He who refreshes others will himself be refreshed." Proverbs 11:25

And now just for fun:

Dress Up Fun

Dress up AND holding the baby

And finally aunt Lest getting a great smile...one after another!

Homeschooling???

I am posting a link to another blog.
It is an essay written by a 9th grader who had been homeschooled in the "unschooled" tradition...(hmm is that an odd combination of words or what)....but what I think is interesting is his perspective on the public school after attending 9th grade. Just thought those of you who were intested in homeschooling or who wondered at our thoughts in planning to do so, would find this interesting! It is not written from a christian perspective, just from an educational standpoint.
I would love your comments/thoughts!!
http://fivefreebirds.blogspot.com/2008/07/unschool-v-school.html

Pragmatism!

Do you ever look at your life and question how you came to be at this point? I have.



Don't get me wrong, I love my wife and I love my children, and I'm not necessarily dissatisfied with where I am, but I never imagined my life quite like it is. I'm not saying that I had telepathic abilities as a child to unlock the mystery of my future, but I never dreamed of being a music teacher that I remember.



Annelise says she wants to be a Ballerina teacher and a mother. In fact, most little girls that are friends with her have similar aspirations; which, in my opinion are well within their reach. When I was a little boy, my friends wanted to be Major League Baseball players or NBA basketball players or sports car drivers or rock stars or actors. Are girls just more pragmatic than boys?

Perhaps there are levels of pragmatism and one can move between them arbitrarily, at will or subconsciously. What about dreams? Do you have dreams, or did you have dreams? That is, are they behind you or before you, or maybe you buried them and they're nowhere to be seen. What is the purpose of those dreams? Are they God given or selfish ambition, a dream from your parent placed on you or environmentally influenced? More importantly, are they(the dreams) part of who you are, or chosen outside the scope of personality and ability.


If someone is extremely good at sports, recognized by many others, is it impractical for them to pursue the NBA or NFL? Someone once said to me, "Shoot for the stars and if you land on the moon then its still OK."


At times I feel as though pragmatism is caught like the flu. You catch it from well meaning people that have become content and pleased with their own practicality and think that you would be wise to do so yourself. Or perhaps their dreams were broken and they want to save you from the same fate.


When it comes to my children and their dreams, I have resolved to scrape off every last bit of pragmatism, practicality, fall-back-on thinking and encourage them to pursue those dreams and even move past calling them dreams and call them goals, and write them down and give them due dates, and come up with a plan to reach those goals, wow that's sounds pragmatic doesn't it! Though my method may be, my advice won't be, and then comes my part! Support. Encourage. Pray!

Annelise-future Mommy, Ballerina Teacher and Brain Surgeon

Olivia-Future Mommy, Adventurer(Missionary) and Veterinarian

Pragmatism:–adjective-of or pertaining to a practical point of view or practical considerations.

Being a Conscious Parent

It's so interesting, having the two girls that I have...

Kevin and I had many discussions before we had children and as we have had them, about what we needed to do in order to raise them to be confident and unafraid...like Kevin. He is never intimidated by anything, where as I would rather not even try if it looks too difficult. So here we are with two beautiful girls raised in the same household, with obviously similar experiences although they couldn't be exactly the same.

And of course we are trying our hardest to make biblical foundations a norm in our life, praying when someones sick, worshipping, bible stories...you know. But i believe that the Lord entrusted these particular children to me, with all their individuality's, so therefore i have to be conscious of those things in parenting. And can i just say, sometimes i feel too tired (code for LAZY) or too distracted, or too task oriented to be that. But we are trying.

It started as a conversation with my sister (who i m so blessed is going to UMHB so our relationship could be deepened..i mean that's not WHY she went there but...I'm glad she did!). Anyway, she was commenting on Olivia's adventuresome spirit and how she hopes that is never stifled. I mean at 16 months if not earlier this girl was playing on the playground with out any fear, doing things my 3 year old wouldn't attempt, and now at 2 1/2 ... you can only imagine! Anyway we got to talking and it was my Ah-hah moment! I realized how much Olivia was already like Kevin, no mountain too high. Where Annelise was already like me, intuitive, sensitive and a little nervous. How interesting that these traits were already so profound in my two girls. and so what does that mean for Kevin and I.

It means we recognize the weaknesses and strengths in each of these and call out the strengths and combat the weaknesses.

In my sweet Annelise it means I have to be aware of all my comments and how she may perceive them. I have to encourage her at every opportunity and i may have to sacrifice a little (WHAT!!) and try things with her in order to assure her of her own abilities. I will have to find the delicate balance in pushing her to do something i know she can do, and not pushing so hard that she feels already overcome. And i will nurture her sensitivity and empathy that she naturally possesses and speak the truth of who she is, who God says she is. And i have to be on my face praying for wisdom and grace, and truth to speak over her. I get excited thinking about it! Now in my trailblazer Olivia I will have to do most all the same things, except I will have to be more relaxed and let her try things on her own. She will most likely teach herself to ride a bike and I will have to wring my hands without her seeing! ***Side note here, a woman that has sinse moved to a differnt church blessed me with an encouragement from the Lord at Olivias baby shower, I can't recall the exact words and I don't want to look it up, but it basically said not to worry no harm would come to her. The Lord knew I would need that!!! Thanks Jill!***I have to be aware of the independent often rebelliousness that can accompany her exploratory nature and be quick to nip it in the bud. And I have to praise her for being unafraid and speak the truth of who she is, who God says she is. And I have to be on my face praying again! OOOH I get even more excited!--maybe started to feel overwelmed, but thats it's the Lord in me, right!!?

And baby #3...I can only imagine and pray for wisdom to parent him/her consciously too. Oh man do I need help.